He Knows

Posted on 06/05/2016 by Rev. Jennifer L. Faust

AUDIO: dialup - broadband - podcast

TRANSCRIPT: (does not contain everything found in the audio above)

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I've got a river of life flowing out of me!
Makes the lame to walk, and the blind to see.
Opens prison doors, sets the captives free!
I've got a river of life flowing out of me!

Spring up, O well, within my soul!
Spring up, O well, and make me whole!
Spring up, O well, and give to me
That life abundantly.


Take me into the Holy of Holies
take me in by the Blood of the Lamb
Take me into the Holy of Holies
take the coal, touch my lips, here I am

Take me past the outer courts
into the Holy Place
Past the brazen altar
Lord, I want to see your face
Pass me by the crowds of people
and the priests who sing your praise
I hunger and thirst for your righteousness
and it's only found one place


I love you, Lord
And I lift my voice
To worship You
Oh, my soul rejoice!
Take joy my King
In what You hear
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound
in Your ear

*** Choose your connection speed and listen to the audio to hear the introduction. ***

Today's fireside chat, my short, little sermonette, is titled He Knows. I got this idea from a song, too. I realize that some people may think that is weird, but when songs hit me so hard that I cry I know they may also hit others like that. And yes, the song will be used for the altar call. :)

When I got this idea, I was doing daily things. I was washing my face and I was thinking of things. It came to my mind almost in a wave. I remembered the emotions the song brings and my eyes got misty.

Some of you know my past, but not all of you. Growing up, I was abused by my father and grandfather, my father's father. I was physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and sexually abused. These men who were supposed to be care for and protect me did not. They showed me a warped version of who God is.

I am thankful that as I grew up, I realized that these two men were not the some as God. For awhile, I actually thought that God was like them! I thought He was this being that wanted to inflict harm and pain to everyone. I was wrong.

As my abuse was going on, I had always thought that I was alone. That no one saw my pain or cared what was going on. Who'd care for a little girl whose father hit her or threw things at her? Who'd care for a little girl whose grandfather touched her in ways he ought not? Who'd care?

I felt so alone, so vulnerable and I hated it. I hated what happened to me. I hated the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness it invoked. And then...I grew up.

I don't remember how old I was. Probably in my early to mid-twenties that I realized something. It wasn't that no one was around. It was that HE was there, but my abusers were not listening to HIM!

I am not sure if you would believe me, but I got this possibility in my head and I truly believe it with all my heart. As I was being abused, Father God was there in the form of an angel. He had sent someone to stop this from happening, but the one doing the horrific things would not listen.
I am not a vengeful person, but I know there will come a day when these two men will have to stand before God on Judgment Day and NO ONE will be there to save them. There deeds will be spoken and shown for all to see.

At that time, it would be better if a milestone were placed around their heads. I am not God. I do not know what will happen at that time. I DO know that God knows what happened and He knows my relationship with my father is estranged.

People have told me to forgive and forget. I forgave them, but forgetting is different. It is NOT the same as forgiving. I remember to say "Look how God saved me! He helped me survive all of this! I will tell others there is hope in the everlasting arms of Father God! We don't need to be victims anymore! We can be survivors! We can do it! For He knows!"

I am not sure if any of this rings true or helps any of you, but as I was typing this up I cried at certain places. It might just be another part of my healing that I share this today or it might be that someone else here or listening later needed to know that God knows about everything that goes on in our lives. Not only that, but He CARES about it!

The altar call is this. If you want to spend some time with God...the one Who knows and cares for us so much that He would be in the same room with us, fighting for and protecting us, then come up front. I know without a doubt that God loves us and cares for us. I also know that His heart breaks for the things that are done...the evils that occur to His children.

People have asked "why does God let those kinds of things happen?" "Why didn't He stop it?" Personally, I believe it has to do with free will and the way God works. He doesn't over step His nature. He won't intervene when someone's freewill is involved.

For me, I believe that when God was in the room with me when the abuse was going on...His voice was speaking to the abuser. He was saying stop, but they disobeyed. He did what He believed was best and I am a stronger person for it. Some might not understand. I don't understand fully, but I trust God's judgment. I am where I am because He saw fit to give my the strength to continue life and to rise above the abuse.

So, won't you come to Him and bring your cares to lay at His feet? He cares. He loves. He knows.